Heart of Gold Yoga &Arts

 

I want you to understand my journey thus far, and how yoga has been a tool in transforming my life from my anxiety, depression and lack of self-worth, to my attachment to outcome and the constant need to feel in control.  Maybe you will recognize parts of your own journey in the paragraphs below.  I am here today to tell you that it does get better, that you do matter, and that you do have a purpose; mine just happens to involve yoga.

 

My early adulthood had been a series of trying to fit a square pegs into round holes.  I liken it to Cinderella’s stepsister cramming her foot into the slipper exclaiming, “It fits!” just before the shoe goes careening through the air.  I couldn’t understand why nothing “fit." In 2008 I got my degree in Public Relations from Eastern Illinois University. I landed a sales job at a Fortune 500 company in Chicago and traded in cornfields for skyscrapers like so many other starry-eyed twenty-something’s before me.  There was just one catch; I was miserable.  Blaming it on the economy and disliking my job, I did what most of us do when feeling in a rut. I moved, changed companies (and even career fields altogether) dated a different guy….wash, rinse, repeat. Until one day the spin cycle broke.

 

It was 2012 and I was months into a fancy new position at my alma mater - that seemingly should have been the pinnacle of everything I had been working towards - when I began to feel the familiar panicky dread set in.  This job was supposed to be my answer, my perfectly fitting glass slipper, if you will. Little did I know it was my answer, just not in the way I had expected. My normal panic-induced response was to run away when the going got tough, but that wasn’t an option this time; I had no where left to run. I had no choice but to do some soul-searching. 

 

At this point, I had done just enough internal work and dog-earred a small library’s worth of self-help books to know that this existential crisis was my soul trying to get my attention. I was beyond what scribbling notes to another episode of Oprah’s Lifeclass could remedy, though.  I needed to call in the big guns.  So, I prayed.  Okay, more like I got into a fetal position, snotty-nose sobbed, and felt sorry for myself.  Again, it wasn’t pretty! I didn't know how I had gotten there, and more importantly, I didn't know how to get myself out of this mess.

 

Well, as always, I've come to find that when I need it the most God grants a “falling off the bookshelf” moment of grace – a synchronicity to give a nudge (or shove, *ahem*) in the right direction. It's like in Alice in Wonderland when she’s searching for the key to the door. A little glass vial of potion appears out of thin air with a simple message, “Drink Me.” (The fairytale references weren't planned, I swear!)

 

My “Drink Me” moment came in the form of an email after a particularly horrid day at work.  By this time, I had been reading an inspirational blog called, The Daily Love for a few years.  The email advertised an immersion retreat on Maui called “Enter the Heart.”  Over a week’s time, participants would receive mentoring/life-coaching sessions with the blog founder, Mastin Kipp; twice daily yoga sessions with renowned teacher, Tommy Rosen; alkaline/organic meals – oh, and we would be cut-off from the outside world.  No iPhone. No email. No social media. No distractions. I was terrified to apply, but I was more terrified not to. Besides, in my mind I had already told myself that I obviously I wasn’t going to get picked so what did I have to lose?! (Let’s just say my sense self-worth was pretty bleak in those days.) I poured my heart out in my application, and after a thorough screening process, phone interview and many weeks of anxiously checking my inbox, I was informed that I was selected as one of 23 other souls to go. *GULP* Bottom’s up!

 

Mastin recommended we start practicing yoga as much as possible over the next six months to prepare for the retreat.  One of the yoga styles recommended was Kundalini Yoga, called the “yoga of awareness.”  I ordered some DVDs, sat on a borrowed pink yoga mat and was half floored, half weirded out.  My body literally felt as if it was buzzing with life after each session, and my face appeared glowing and serene. This stuff was good. Really good. I didn’t know what the heck yoga was all about, but I understood then that there was a lot more to it than the stretching postures I had been taught in any gym's class before.  All I knew was that a mere 30 minutes of yoga a day had the power to shift me from an anxious, emotional wreck to a blissful state I hadn’t ever known was achievable. Yoga, and the hope that this trip would be the catalyst I had always been searching for became my life raft for the next six months. I clung with all my might.

 

Fast forward to July 2013...go time. I had a looooot of time during my flights to feel a myriad of emotions from excitement to a ball of nerves.  The weight of the moment finally hit me as I checked into the resort and I started to have a visceral reaction towards what lied ahead. I remember fighting back tears with a lump in my throat as I called home one last time, wordlessly willing my family members to tell me that I was not crazy for flying across the Pacific to hang out with a bunch of strangers and hand over my phone in a Ziploc for a week.  There was no running away this time! 

 

To say the retreat changed my life seems trite, but it did. I can’t really put into words the transformation that happened in me on that island.  During a mere seven days, I felt first-hand the healing powers of yoga as taught by Tommy Rosen, and fell head over heels in love with it.  It was the yoga coupled with life-coaching sessions via the amazing duo of Mastin Kipp and Jenna Hall that finally enabled me to heal old wounds, release baggage, fully understand my worth, and clearly define my soul's calling. I had found my glass slipper.  Finally. And with it came a tribe of the most beautiful, brave, loving souls I have ever met. It was the first time in my life that I had truly felt safe enough to be completely and utterly exposed and vulnerable; to let it all hang out, even the ugly stuff - no, especially the ugly stuff - and be wrapped in unconditional, loving acceptance. It was our candlelit sessions in the yoga shala that provided the arena for that safe space, that allowed each of us to tap into an inner-peace and strength previously unattainable. We all came from very different walks of life but we each left behind on those mats years of resentment, grief, insecurity, self-loathing, addiction, shame, guilt, anger, fear. 

 

I left Maui in tears of a very different sort, with a lightness of heart (and they could have chucked my phone into the ocean at that point for all I cared!) I had gained such clarity as to what my life’s purpose is. I knew that I wanted to help others feel what I was feeling which was free, empowered, and safe to be exactly who they are.  I especially knew that I wanted to help instill this in children from a young age.

 

It dawned on me that yoga provided the same freedom, empowerment, and outlet that creative writing and painting has for me since I was a child.  So, why not combine them?  I understood right then and there that my calling was to create a kids yoga program which integrated healthy outlets such as creative writing and the arts; to help them grow and evolve…like metamorphosis.  Enter, Metamorpho-Kids Yoga & Arts. Within a week of being back at home from the retreat, my soul desperately prompted me to take action.  I couldn’t –and wouldn’t – settle for anything less than fulfilling any longer. With that, I enrolled in a children’s yoga teacher training program via Om-Schooled and shortly thereafter, a 200 hour Vinyasa teacher training program through Amara Yoga & Arts in Urbana, Illinois.

 

I have since begun to teach yoga full-time and am largely focusing on further developing my children’s program, which I would eventually like to integrate across the nation and overseas in children's homes and orphanages. I plan to develop a similar program specifically for teen girls integrating yoga with the arts & creative writing exercises. I currently teach an after-school program in my hometown of Arthur, Illinois. I also regularly teach adult yoga classes in Arthur at Second Chance Fitness. Styles include Vinyasa flow, and restorative classes, both of which I infuse with Kundalini yoga. It is especially beneficial for the nervous system, lymphatic system, for uplifting the mood, and therefore wonderful for anxiety or depression.  I am also planning to get my pre-natal yoga certification and official Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training in the near future.  I would like to offer post-natal yoga workshops for mothers who are dealing with post-partum symptoms, and include art and creative writing as therapeutic means. Visit my services page for the most up-to-date information on new offerings, classes and locations, though I am available for travel!

 

This is the story of my journey to yoga in a nutshell, and it continues to evolve.  I would love to be a part of yours.  After all, we’re all just one “Drink Me” moment away from a miracle. 

 

Sat Nam, 

 

-EQC