Finding Your True North

As many of you know based upon my recent Facebook posts, I recently had the opportunity to volunteer at Wanderlust O'ahu at the North Shore of Hawaii. Much to my surprise (and much like Maui), it was a much-needed shift for me and I thought I would reflect upon that here…

Upon returning home from The Daily Love's "Enter the Heart" retreat on Maui in 2013, I was harshly reminded of the rarity of finding other "seeker souls" in everyday life. I felt like I was five years old again, startled by the sharp intake of breath I felt when jumping into a pool not yet warmed by the summer sun. But, just as my body regulated my temperature back to normal in those 8am swimming lessons, I re-adjusted to life back home. I found solace in knowing that if I kept my head down and focused on my inner-work, if I built my yoga business, if I continued to write and pound away at publishers, eventually all of it would lead me to the pay-off. I have savored the time, appreciating the simplicity of it, of being surrounded by family, as well as the gift of being able to share yoga in my hometown.

The thing is, while it's vital to be committed to personal growth, it's also vital to have a community of like-minded individuals who can aid in this growth and vice-versa. It wasn't until coming home from O'ahu last week where I made so many incredible connections that I was able to take a step back and realize that in the months since Maui, I had become good ole frog in the pot parable. I was gradually being boiled but unable to tell because the temperature was being increased so inconspicuously. We all do it - settle into sleepy routines of meetings and small talk day in and day out - but this suffocates your spirit if there are not like-minded others fanning your flames. In an amazing class led by Seane Corn at Wanderlust, she said "Humanity is what disconnects us from our Higher Power (God, truth) but it cannot be avoided, so it's about striving to make choices that support your life's purpose." So, ask yourself; how do you choose to spend your time, your money, your energy? Does your work make you light up? Is your partner someone who lifts you up and challenges you to grow? Do you live somewhere where you have a community of nurturing people who cultivate growth, expanding your mind to new points of view or levels of understanding?

I got real with myself and realized that my answers to those questions weren't pretty. Since coming back from Maui nearly two years ago, I can pinpoint maybe a handful of people with whom I could excitedly gush about things that light my spirit up. That's not to say I'm on a higher level of my journey than anyone else whatsoever, it's just to say that if I want to be a beacon of light and love in this world, I've got to keep expanding and surrounding myself with experiences and people who feed my soul, lest I grow stagnant. Part of growing is becoming really attuned to phases of your life and knowing when it's time to take a new risk or start a fresh chapter. I know in my heart that over the last two years this was where I was meant to be in order for everything to fall into place for the bigger picture. Coming back to my roots - where I spent my days getting freckle-faced running through backyard sprinklers and chasing after lightning bugs to the drone of cicadas on a muggy summer night - this was all supposed to happen. I now understand that I had to come back to where it started in order to reconnect with my true self.

The first words I nervously, but assuredly uttered in the candlelit yoga shala on my first night in Maui surrounded by people who are now my O’hana, was from a Sufi poem referenced in Eat, Pray, Love. It says, “I was never not coming here. This was never not supposed to happen.” I found myself saying it again in O’ahu. It’s in those moments – moments where every fiber, every cell of your being is singing that you are supposed to connect with these people at this exact moment in this exact place – those are the moments that will guide you to your True North.

You can have these moments in a tiny Midwestern farm town or thousands of miles away on an island – location isn't what is important here. What matters is that you relentlessly pursue those moments and those people who light you up. It’s not enough to feel it every six months or once a decade, not if you want your soul to thrive. I have been cautiously guarding the little ember that was embedded within me on Maui, relying on it to get me through cold, dark times and by golly that little sucker did! O’ahu fanned that flame though and smacked me awake. This little froggy is scrambling out of the pot!

People look at me with bewilderment when they find out I travel by myself, let alone attend writing or yoga retreats and festivals without knowing a single soul. A woman I encountered the other day said, "Wow, that's so brave of you to travel alone and try out new experiences like that. I could never do that; I'm too much of a chicken." I felt a wave of simultaneous sadness and gratitude wash over me. Is it brave? I don't know, maybe. But awhile back I made a vow with my spirit that I will no longer allow the shrill cries of fear drown out the gentle lilt of my inner-voice, and I don't intend to break it. Going to O'ahu was a much needed, God-sent reminder to me that I do crave and deeply need to surround myself with like-minded people. I've jumped the gun a lot over the last two years thinking I knew what my next steps should be only to be gently (insert sarcastic inflection here, HAHA) reminded that it wasn't the right choice. I feel like I've been resting up on the sidelines having nursed an injury for a couple seasons and was hopping erratically in the coach's (God's) line of sight saying, "Put me in, coach! I'm ready! Hey, do you see me over here?! I said I'm ready!" Spoiler alert: God knows exactly what position He wants you to play, and when/where He wants you to play it. :-) Spoiler alert #2: He can only reveal if you get still and allow Him to freely open doors.

And so, I leave you with these words, my friends:

"You ruin your life by tolerating it. At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you, and in that way you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential. The next Michelangelo could be sitting behind a Macbook right now writing an invoice for paperclips, because it pays the bills, or because it is comfortable, or because he can tolerate it. Do not let this happen to you. Do not ruin your life this way. Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. They are intrinsically linked. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily blissful life." —Bianca Sparacino, How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)

Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. For me, I know that this means a new chapter that has been in the works for a loooong time is finally about to embark. I've done my internal work (this is never-ending, by the way) and I've made some major life changes, setting myself up for what is next, so now it's time to take calculated action again before complacency can set in and I'm chillin' in the pot with my froggy friends. There is a great quote by Cheryl Strayed from her book Wild, "I'm a free spirit who never had the balls to be free." Amen, Sister. I've always felt a little shackled to a certain life path because I didn't have the balls to be far away from family and friends...mostly out of guilt, somewhat out of fear. At The Daily Love retreat, Mastin asked us what our core desired feelings are, because those in turn lead to discovering your life's purpose. Mine were to feel free, valued, and connected. HELLO?! Bueller?? I have been in direct violation of my own soul's desires without even realizing it. Bottom line: My choices -environment, job, relationships, energies, etc. have to be conducive to those core desired feelings or I will constantly find myself right back in the pot chillin' with my froggy friends, sleepily talking about the weather.

Disclaimer: Don't think that you have to move or change jobs or go to yoga retreats to fan your flame. In fact, if you do any of those things because you think they will make you happy, you're doing it for the wrong reasons...been there, done that. Just be mindful of your environment and be honest as to whether or not it's feeding your soul. Get still, listen to your inner-voice; It will always re-direct you to your True North. Hold yourself accountable. Life is too short. Jump, froggy, jump!

Sat Nam,

EQC

#wanderlust #oahu #maui #thedailylove #rumi #soul #spirit #seeker