Aloha!

Since the move I've been blown away by the amount of messages I've received from people asking for insight on how to make shifts in their lives. This is a rather long response (come on, are you really surprised?!) to a person in particular today who reached out wanting to know how I got on this path. In helping them my heart is filled, and it goes out to them because I have been through their exact same growing pains. I know my life looks picture perfect in a lot of ways living in paradise, but I think it's so important that people understand that there is a lot that goes on behind the scenes daily as I continue my journey. I didn't get here by being anything less than authentic and raw and real. So, I hope maybe these insights help someone else, too!

Here is my response:

I will say that it took a lot for me to get here and it still isn't picture perfect some days, BUT I can tell you that I know it was worth it all even if I still can't quite see the big picture yet. I spent about four years going through the same cycle you referenced and I couldn't ever quite pinpoint the source of the dissatisfaction I felt. I would take the next logical step in life, I got a great job at EIU and was making more than I ever had, etc., but looking back I can see that it was setting me up for what was ahead. I think sometimes it takes "having it all" on paper before we can really begin to face discontent head-on and start to embrace the discomfort. Prior to that, it's too easy to blame it on situations or people, needing a better job, or new city. It's only when backed into this corner that we can truly make the decision to change something or stay miserable.

For me, the major catalyst was first applying for a retreat through a blog I read called The Daily Love. I figured it was a long shot but I now know that when you are genuinely seeking to grow and better yourself, you will always be supported. I was selected with about 20 other people to go. It was an immersion retreat called "Enter the Heart" meaning we turned in our phones and were cut-off from the outside world for the entire week. We did life-coaching sessions, therapy, twice a day yoga, ate only organic lovely food to keep us in tip-top shape...and oh, it was in Maui. To say it changed my life was an understatement.

It was here where I finally let go of deeply rooted hurt and baggage I thought I had long ago dealt with. Simply put, I came back home a better version of myself in a way I didn't know was possible. The difference was I took advantage of that momentum and didn't allow myself to slip back into the day-to-day life I had been previously living. I enrolled in yoga teacher training (for me the yoga had resonated with me so much at the retreat, and I discovered a way to pair it with my love for children.) I still had many hard days but it at least gave me something to latch onto. (That would be my first recommendation, by the way. If you can find a light at the end of the tunnel to aspire to and begin taking small steps toward, it gets you through the times when you start questioning your path. And oh boy, will there be those times.)

From there, I ended up leaving my job sooner than planned but again, it was all part of a larger plan. I had finally stood up for myself to a bully boss, something I had never had the courage to do in the past. I freed myself from many years of avoiding confrontation and allowing myself to be under someone else's thumb. The really cool thing is by me finally breaking this cycle in my own life, I paved the way for other coworkers to empower themselves in the same way. I left my job and took a major pay cut to teach yoga full-time. It wasn't glamorous and many days I questioned my decision (plus, I had to answer to my parents, haha.) But in the long run, the peace I felt was enough to keep me going.

Now, how did I get here? Well, I had begun teaching yoga in Arthur of all places which was a challenge but it gave me the experience and confidence I would eventually need to teach in Hawaii, and it allowed me to build up a specific vision for my kids yoga business. Again, I had difficult days when I questioned if I was insane to have left my job for this but I also loved what I was doing. The opportunity came about to apply for a volunteer position with Wanderlust Oahu (a yoga/music fest) and I decided that if I got picked it would be an excuse to get back to Hawaii and at least scope out the possibility of moving one day. (This is recommendation #2: Take action. When I say I "got the opportunity" to do something it's because I sought it out those opportunities by doing my research and reaching out to people.)

Anyway, I got picked and I decided to come out and start connecting with people. Once again, the trip just clicked. It's like someone gives you glasses to put on and suddenly everything is in technicolor. Being here simply felt right...it felt like my soul was coming "home." (Recommendation #3: Pay attention to your gut feeling. We often sideline ourselves before we even get off the bench because we confuse anxious uncertainty -which is healthy and normal when taking risks- with the ego's fear voice.) Here is how to tell the difference: The ego's voice is always the loud, impulsive one flailing its arms about, "AW HELLLL NO, GIRL. RUN!" I struggle with this every single time I feel vulnerable or a lack of control (which making a big move like this magnifies times 8.5 million, yay!) The ego voice screams to run or raise up my guard, but the soul says, "Yes, this is scaring the poop out of us and it's uncomfortable, and it friggin' blows, but we've gotta do it in order to grow so suck it up, buttercup!" It takes lots of practice to become attuned to telling the difference in the moment. I've had the whole "bull in the china shop" ego reaction at least once a week since I've been out here, haha! Change is scary and it's uncomfortable, and it requires risking a lot of yourself, but the nagging feeling of not stepping onto this path is far worse. My journey still continues as I've come to accept that part of the reason for my move out here is to shed a light on the areas I still need to work on so I can continually become a better version of myself in order to best serve others on my path.

I digress! I came home from Oahu with fresh motivation and used all my contacts made to start reaching out. (Recommendation #4: Network & utilize connections/find mentors in the area you are looking to get established in. People love the chance to help others, I've found. Also, don't feel like you're bothering people by reaching out. Again, I struggle with this a lot but making this move forced me to try to get more and more okay with being vulnerable and authentic when asking others for assistance.) From here, I started seeking out jobs and I arranged a couple of interviews and flew back out about 6 weeks later. I made sure to take some vacation time and explore the island too which is important if you're looking to travel or move somewhere. I got the job offer immediately and it was a whirlwind from there. They needed me out here in less than a month so I had big decisions to make. I won't lie, I had a mini emotional break-down to my parents. I wondered if I was making a huge mistake by uprooting my life considering the financial increase in cost of living, the fact that I knew like four people on the island, and would miss my family.

Again, those freak-outs are the ego (fear voice) rearing its ugly head, and its specifically designed to keep us in our safe little nooks and crannies in life instead of stepping out onto our true paths. What I'm repeatedly learning (as recently as today, woohoo!) the key is to find a way to silence the freak-out triggers...meaning you acknowledge that A. You are freaking out and feeling anxious/uncertain, but B. You choose to re-direct your thoughts and focus on taking action in the areas you CAN control. You keep moving forward. For me, my silencers are having a strong faith in God, yoga, meditation, writing, art, etc. It becomes a daily fight to keep yourself afloat once you choose this path, but I promise it is worth it.

There is a quote by Liz Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love that I always think of for motivation: “Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

The cool part is once you do find your life's calling and true path, and you accept the journey, God shifts the universe into rising up to meet you, placing where you need to be.

If there is anything at all I can help you with I am so happy to do so. I am actually grateful you wrote me because writing all this reminded me of why I am here and how far I have come...that it's nothing short of a miracle. I am blown away at how many people my move affected, and how many messages I have received. It is such an incredible blessing to see the ripple effect that comes when you step out onto your path. I have no idea what is in store for me here but I do know it has simultaneously been the most rewarding, terrifying, vulnerable, difficult, exciting experience thus far. I can tell you that there will be amazing days and horrible days, and this entire journey over the last few years has been among the loneliest time of my life, but that's okay. Necessary, even. It's okay because you get to know yourself - the good, the bad, and the ugly - inside and out, and you become so secure in your flaws and short-comings that after awhile nothing can truly scare you. That's the thing about facing fear and life head-on; once you look it in the eye and stare it down, nothing can vanquish you or deter you from your path. You might wobble (a lot), but you keep going.

My last recommendation is to get really clear on what it is your heart is calling you to do (your heart, not your mind) then make a plan. What lights you up? Where do you hope to see yourself TRULY in five, ten years? The best advice I got at that retreat from Mastin Kipp was to figure out the feelings I want to feel then shape my life around that. I want to feel free, connected, and seen/heard (valued). And in turn, that's how I want to make others feel (especially kiddos!) From there you can start to figure out okay, what paths can I take that would allow me to feel these things? What would allow me to serve others in this way? And it snowballs from there. I'm not saying quit your job overnight..definitely be smart, but also be brave.

I am so excited to witness your journey unfold, and I hope you will stay in touch. Please know that there IS more to life so that nagging feeling you're recognizing is the biggest blessing you could ask for in disguise. Joseph Campbell said, "The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." Your treasure is calling. Go get it!

MUCH LOVE!

EQC

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